Recently, my dear friends Jessica and James got married!
(Yes, I took this picture)
Yay! I know everyone says “Oh my sweet heaven! They’re soooo perfect for each other” at literally every wedding that ever was, but in this case it’s 100% true. They are an absolutely amazing couple.
As a close friend of both the bride and the groom, I was asked to be a bridesmaid. Which (lemme tell you) has never been on my “to-do list”. Nevertheless, for these two amazing lovebirds, I was willing to put aside my near phobia of all things wedding and play my part.
*Insert long rant about prep work, planning, bridal showers, and bachelorette parties (now THAT was fun) here* and let’s skip on ahead to the big day.
Thanks to Jessica’s amazing taste, the wedding was gorgeous and even the bridesmaids dresses were lovely:
(obviously I did not take this picture as this is me in my lovely bridesmaid dress)
After the wedding there was the reception (I believe this is how these things usually work) during which the traditional wedding “games” were played. (I really think these games are designed to make the new couple’s single friends feel bad for being single…but what do I know?) First, the groom slides the garter belt off his blushing bride and slings it at the single men, thereby forcing one of them to catch it. Fine and dandy. Next comes the one that all the ladies love, LOVE, LOVE. The bouquet toss.
Now first of all, why would I want to catch Jessica’s bouquet? I have one of my own. All the bridesmaids got one, and I feel that they should have been satisfied with that as I was.
(my bridesmaid bouquet Courtesy of Krystle Akin Photography)
Now doesn’t that seem sufficient? Greedy I tell you, these girls are greedy. I understand it though, they want the bridal bouquet. The only bunch of flowers (that I’m aware of) that somehow magically guarantee you to be the next (regrettably) single girl to be married. Alrighty, let’s line these single ladies up! Oh wait? What’s this? ALL SINGLE WOMEN HAVE TO PLAY THIS GAME?!? I did not sign up for this! If only I could have snuck away to some dusty corner with a bottle of champagne to keep me company! Alas, I did not think this far ahead (as I had already had quite a bit of champagne). So here I go…lined up with the rest of them, dreading the inevitability that this damn bouquet is going to fly directly into my face. WHAT TO DO?!?!?! Quick! Think of something!!
(I once again did not take this picture as I am once again IN it…notice the tall one on the left..yes that’s me)
What was the only thing I could think of? Children. Yes children, used as a shield against flowers. One in each hand actually. (Never thought I would be the one to use a human shield…show’s what I know) And, remarkably, it WORKED! I never stood a chance at catching those flowers of promised marital bliss! That honor went to my friend Chelsea (who fought tooth and nail to be the lucky recipient).
And I have never been happier to see someone else win!